Is tricky.Most of the discussion I have from day to day involves a few of my co-workers, my sister, my mom, my roommate and a few close friends -- my fave 5+. All of which are most likely to be refered to as "a friend."
I pretty much relay my straight up opinion to one or all of them at some point in the day, and a lot of the post on this blog is a direct result of a discussion I've had with one of them.
I don't want to creep them out by going into detail about their lives, but lets face it that's why women talk... to figure out what is what, so why not do that on a blog. So far I've tried to keep things anon.
Beyond friends and their opinions and situations, there is also guys. Occasionally I blog about guys I've dated, or general things that cross my mind about why men and women are different. The thing is, my blog is not anonymous. My name real name isn't Nicky but people who know me know I have a blog "for women"-ish, and can easily find the url, and can most likely figure out why I use that pseudonym.
I'm all over the internet, and if, say, I wanted to blog about a guy who brought a friend on our first date, cause I was a little trown off by the awkwardness of it all, there is a chance he could find it. I don't think he will...but he could. Of course it was hysterical, a train wreck, and sad all at the same time because besides it being the worst date ever, I actually thought we had a lot of chemistry up until that point in time. Classic example for pointing out the differences between how men think and how women think. So I wait it out a few months and then retell the story. This is the problem with a semi-anonymous blog. Particularly blogging about people your are or were dating.
Laurie has a great example. But every blogger is different. So where do you draw the line?
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3 comments:
Story of my liiiiiiiiiiife. I've started creating composite scenes-- I make up pseudonyms and grab lines and ideas from three different real-life conversations and roll them into one. It's still honest and real, but it feels a little less invasive. It's also a bit more entertaining. I only do that for the talky scenes though, not when I'm relaying something that happened plot-wise. I don't know if that makes sense.
And I've come to similar conclusions on waiting a few months-- it's easier to talk about way after the fact. Less likely the person's still blog-stalking you or that anyone else will put two-and-two together to get four.
You had a first date where the guy brought a friend? That's awesome! That passes my experience on the awkward scale - being out on a first date and having the girl I was with see someone walk in with a girl and freak out. Turns out, she was on a date with me but had a boyfriend... who happened to be the guy who walked in on a first date with some girl. Amusingly, as they screamed at each other and caused quite a scene, the girl and I laughed in a mortified sort of way and had some chemistry ourselves. Nothing came of it, but whoa, that was nuts. I think I gave up dating for a while after that. (Other things had lead up to that which were almost just as bizarre, but that's a story for another time!)
But to turn this to the issue at hand, and specifically about people you may be dating, my point of view (as a hopeless romantic!) is that if I'm dating someone, chances are I really like them, and any writing I do would probably reflect that. So, on the whole, it'd be good. And if it exposes idiosyncrasies? Well, lord knows I've got more than a few, and that's immediately apparent to people who meet me in passing, let alone date. So what's the harm? Are any of us really perfect? Having an honest assessment of how others view us isn't necessarily bad, it just sometimes requires a bit of introspection.
In a sense, I view it like (to channel my inner-geek) an anthropic principle for dating. The only person you're going to end up with is the one who can accept what you think of them, so what's the harm in letting that be known ahead of time and saving time?
.... Of course, before taking any of the above as possibly insightful, bear in mind the last person to hit on me was an 88-year old woman. Yes, seriously. That, too, is a story for another time. ;-)
Two post-scripts:
#1: You asked a direct question, even if rhetorical, and like a true guy, I blissfully ignored it. So I'll try to repent here: I draw the line at posting intimate things or things that are personal for the other person. So, for example, if I'm on a date, what we do is fine (unless the other person knows about the blog, we have a conversation and agree that it's off limits!), but if the woman shares something personal about her during that? Well, it's my blog, not hers. That's a trust you can't break.
#2: With regards to the date, rest assured that dating in the city in which you live is, ah, much harder than in the rest of the known world. So I hope you take it in stride and don't let crazy experiences like that get to you! :-)
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